I sometimes forget who I am

..................................................................................What I mean is sometimes I forget my religion and where my family comes from. Personally I hate when people take too much pride into their cultures, I mean I am proud to say where I am from. But I hate when people do that, and forget America but their living in it. But anyways, my family is from trinidad. I am the first born generation here, and I love it here. I mean I love New York, I don't think I would want to ever live in any other state. But anyways my family is Trinidadian, but in Trinidad its like groups of different races. I mean mostly New York is obviously like that too, but in Trinidad its really small, so we have only those certain groups the most. But yes anyways, we have mostly groups of either Blacks, Indians, Chinese, Dutch, English Irish, and Arab. They mix a lot too, I mean more then here. Its impossible to find someone who isn't mixed. Like I'm indian, dutch, and chinese. We take mostly more on the Indian side because thats what we mostly are. But when I was younger I was always embarassed to show that I was indian, because I mean honestly people here sometimes can be arrogant. Not all, but there are jsut stupid stereotypes. I mean I used to absolutely love saturday mornings with my dad, we would wake up mad early and watch hindi songs because there was this program on t.v called namaste america and play all songs from hindi films. I mean hindi music, it is so so so good. I don't understand what their saying, but the english subtitles, its like poetry. Its so beautiful, their meanings are so incredibly beautiful. And so then we would watch hindi films too. ........................................................................................................................................................

We would watch the classic ones, not the new ones because the new ones now are too "americanized." By that I mean, hindi films are indian because thats what they are. now they try and make it to american or western. Hindi films are supposed to be sappy and romantic and their is always singing and dancing in it. And the way the women dress are so pretty and different, now they dress like us. Which is annoying, you know? So I used to watch hindi films from the 1960s-70s. They always make me cry, they still make me cry. The only reason I'm talking about this is because my dad bought two new hindi films this week, and I was like this is so stupid, I haven't seen an indian movie in years now. So I thought it was going to be stupid.... I ended up balling because it was so sad. I mean if your open minded to new things, you should watch a hindi film, they make you cry and their like poetry. I mean I personally think their like poetry. So I know Mike, you have an interest in India, if you want a good bit of it, you should watch a classic hindi film. they are good, I personally like this one called shor, and another called hare rama hare krishna. Hare rama Hare krishna makes me cry everytime i hear this one song. So yes, I think I would like to go to India one day, because my mom always wanted me to go but she always wanted to take me there when I would understand it. because India is struck with poverty, and at a young age, I would never understand it. But I think im prepared now. And I also am going to start watching hindi films gain, because at one time it was a huge part of my life. And I mean I guess its like tradition, so I don't think I should lose it, You know?