Induced Psychosis

They are watching, they watch us all the time. You just don't know it. But I do, because it is impossible to do the things we do. It is just not possible to me that we can be what we are, we are not capable of building these things alone. Thomas Edison he was an alien. Yes an alien from outer space, it jsut is not comprehendible that some guy can just figure out how to put light in bulb. Not understandable, i mean its easy tog et now, but break it down to nothing. How the fuck do you get a something? You don't its like magic, or advanced technology, that only aliens can do. Yes, we build those big buildings such as skyscrapers, but the masterminds behind it, they are aliens. No man on this planet can come up with that idea, and use mathematic and science to do that. Because we are incapable of doing that, or atleast I know I can never have the thought process to even think about it. And planes? I mean its heavier than an elephant and flies so fast, how the hell did we come up with that? Its just physically impossible for it to even work. How could something so heavy fly, it cannot. Its aliens, and holographics? There can all of a sudden be people, without them actually being there. Its aliens. There conquering us all, you just don't know it but I do. Because Im an alien, and you can't prove me wrong. I really am, as much as You don't want to believe me, I am an alien. I know all this because I'm not really from this planet, I think yu should heed my notice and take better inputs on your surroundings. Because you can trust no one, such as me. I'm not who you think I am. We will conquer you all.

If heaven was real....

If heaven is real then I would be able to come back to earth, eventually.
If heaven is real I can choose to have the same people in my life again, living with me.
If heaven is real it is always warm and toasty.
If heaven is real then it would have everything I desire at the moment.
If heaven is real I could fly.
If heaven is real then I could still be sad, who wants to be happy all the time.
If heaven is real I will know the answers I want.
If heaven is real then god does exist.
If heaven is real then the grass is bright green.
If heaven is real then the sky is bluish and pinkish and at night turns purple.
If heaven is real, my house is like a tiny cottage.
If heaven is real then I have a soul mate.
If heaven is real then I could have any book I want to read.
If heaven is real, I still need to figure things out.
If heaven is real, hell exists.
If heaven is real that its not fake.

"A walk in the park"

Silence echoes off the air--
Reverberating through her bones.

Dripping red orchids bleed their last breath...
Dirty Doves pick at her eyeballs they show the truth.

The streets. They are yellow. Yellow and melting and swirling into one.

She teethes at the roses,peeling off thier flesh.
Underneath she finds a violinist, singing a misery tale.

A castle of possums capture her , all in rows, they fake a painful death.

A fetus angel flew off the birth giving tree to speak of unknown life.
A child dressed in white sells blue to the refugees.

Violent Violets are breathing, scraping the floor, the roots of all beginnings.

An elegant crow sits perched on a lampost.
Cawing for sanity....

Her stride begins to slow down, she feels her body shiver.

The ground has an imprinting scent of iron and heat.
red, Red everywhere her eyes flutter dead.

Into the castle of tea

I see the magical kingdom up ahead. Its warm and cozy as I walk. I can't wait to reach it. As I stride toward the door my legs are like feathers, light and carefree. Upon the door I see the words "Here lies the kingdom, the kingdom of Tea." I strain myself trying to open the door, large wooden doors with a peculiar aroma of a burnt crispy lipton tea bags. I finally get it open, and to my suprise there is a a kettle at the door. "Would you like a cup of tea?" She is rather large and is boiling hot, but has a sweet angelic voice. How could I refuse?!?! "Yes my dear, I would love a cup of tea." She spouts her tea into my little chinese cup I pulled out of my pocket, and I begin to drink it. "Hmm, your tea is so lovely, it tastes like jasmine. Is that what you are?" "Why yes, I am Jasmine. Your taste buds know very well." "My name is Jasmine, actually, and you were the first today to figure out my taste. Just for that I will give you a tour of our kingdom of Tea." So on me and Jasmine go exploring this fantastic little city. It was so lovely. The first room we visited was the Oriental room. The teapots there were serving chopsticks with their tea, I met a delightful little kettle his name was Oolong, He was so cute. He even sang to me, "Im a little tea cup short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout, when i get all steamed up hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out!!!" "Wow", I said. "I love that song, you sang it so well.""You make me want more tea, can I have a taste of yours too?" So Oolong replied, "Of course my little deary, have a bit of me too!" So i had a bit of Oolong, and we were on our way again. So me Jasmine and Oolong went onto to another part of the kingdom. It was the coolest room of all, atleast to me that is. It had so much sugar and spices, cinnamon and hazelnut!! Oh my god, I think I was going to have a heart attack, it was a dream come true. The theme song to this part was a spoonful of sugar, it sure was the medicine to make it go down.

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So me Oolong and Jasmine went on our little tea spree. We drank so much good tea we thought we would faint. Then the good little white tea fairy came down, she said, "well my dear, I hope you enjoyed all this tea, but now you must do us all a favor, the green tea of the west wants to destroy us all. She thinks that you have come to steal our secret recipe, and that were all in it with you." "Please miss, you must help us destroy green tea!!" So I replied, " Of course Good white tea of the east, I will surely help you. Only on the condition that you will help me get back home to Good Ol' New York." White tea replied, " Yes I will, only if you defeat green tea." So me and my new friends go to defeat green tea. It was not at all an easy task, she had her sticky honey traps that caught me and I started to melt into the floor. "Oh my goodness gracious, OOLONG!!JASMINE!! the honey fiends are like quicksand, Im going down into an abyss!!" Jasmine and Oolong try their best to help me out but fail miserably. I end up in the green tea mansion, she has such an evil scent. I get almost feel it. She tried to make me drink her god awful self, but I somehow escape it everytime. She then places me in a pot, she tells me she will make sure to boil me if I don't give her back the secret recipe. Which I don't even have...
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Oolong and Jasmine in the meantime come up with an idea to get me out. They dress themselves up as the honey after somehow attaining their level of stickiness and get me out. Now me,Jasmine, and Oolong are jsut trying to get out of this horrible mansion. But of course we run into the Green Tea of the West. "Well, well my sweety, You didn't actually think you could get away from me did you?!?!" So I replied,"Well, uh i thought maybe I could get away if you weren't to have caught us... duh.?" Green tea get so mad at me she throws her big heavy kettled self at me I didn't know what to do, my first reaction was to gra the closest object nearest to me. A big ice bag, I throw it at her, and she begins to cool down. "Oh noooooooooooooooooooo!!!! My good green hotness is cooling and freezing, Ahhhh!!! My tender taste is frozen." And Green tea froze right there, in front of all our eyes. "Yay!!! we defeated her!!!
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Now we take back the journey to the castle, but I realized that I don't want tea no more. I want to go home. So, white tea came over to me and everyone celebrated our defeat of the evil green tea. White tea then told me, "You always had a way to get home, you just had to have that feeling of wanting another drink.""Wow really, thats all I had to do?!" "So I said goodbye to my dear good friends and wished upon something new.
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So I closed my eyes and said, " There's nothing like the taste of coffee, there't nothing like the taste of coffee, theres nothing like the taste of coffee." And just like that I was in starbucks.

My theory

Well I remember how you said that people our age don't think about theories and quantum physics and such. But thats not true, I do all the time. Actually, what you were saying about girls being brutal, it's very true. Because people don't tend to understand what I talk about when I speak of my theories. I say why can't we make up whatever it is that we want, why is it that we are here? So me and my friend we made up a book of theories of what we might be and why we are here. I know sounds lame, but it interests me a lot. And I always thought people would understand me, but none of my friends do, only my best friend and one other guy gets it. The last person I was with, told me I was crazy. But I disagree. Anyways this is one of my awesome theories I made up.
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So do you know how the anatomy of the body is? We have organs, a heart with capillaries and veins. Our cells make up what we do, and it can also kill as cancer which is uncontrollable cell growth. We also have blood, which is very important for us to sustain a life. Now what if were not really as important as humans think they are?
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Now lets say the earth is a organism. The earth has organs, which are continents. The eart has capillaries and veins which are rivers and lakes. the earth has blood which is the ocean. And the earth has cells which is humans. Now what if we are the uncontrollable cell growth, such as cancer in our bodies. Aren't we the ones who are actually killing our own planet? What if earth is the higher purpose and is just one of the organisms living in the galaxy.
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Anyways... People think I'm crazy when I tell them that, I mean I don't randomly go up to people and say that.Also, I'm pretty proud of myself that I could come up with this on my own. Because I put a lot of thought into it,also the fact is I absolutely hate science but I like the theoritical parts of it. But when I get to know someone, I like to talk about theories of why we are here. Because there is no right or wrong in it. Whose to say that what I said is ridiculous or wrong? There is no proof that I am wrong. I once told this to someone I thought I was good friends with, but instead they were stupid little arrogant bitches who know nothing other than drinking on the weekends.

Weird Dream

So i had the most weirdest dream ever last night, coincidentally because you were telling us to write about our dreams.
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So it happened at night, we were in some type of forest. An open forest. It wasn't very dark, it was bluish blackish outside. The scenery is really epic to the story, so in the middle of this almost night forest there were little castles. It kind of reminded me of a manor in the middle ages, you know with the serfs and the noblemen with a little church. Well yes it was like that. I believe my role in it was kind of like a serf, but a modern day serf or peasant. So me and this guy, i have no idea who he was. He was tall and had black hair and tannish skin, light tan skin. And was wearing a black type of peacoat, we had to get ready for the it gets funny, we had to get ready for the Latvian princess. I dont even know how Latvia came to mind, or if Latvia even has princesses but I think we were in a forest in Latvia. So we go into this wooden like church and were setting
So basically we need to suck up to her. Now theres a bunch of people outside, its still a summery bluish night and warm, and theres a bunch of people outside waiting for the princess to coup for it, and its jsut annoying because we have to get approved by the Latvian princess because if not she will have her guards kill you.
.......................................................................................................................................................................... me. Now this guy turns into this kid I know, and were like holding hands and then combine our hands to other peoples and we are circling this bonfire and it looks like were spiritually connecting to eachother. I was wearing this white flowy skirt, and my hair was so so so long and a flowery type shirt. So were praying and circling this fire, and then the Latvian princess shows up. Everyone starts running up to her to make sure their approved. Im just watching at a far distance because i don't want to get stampeded on and from what I see she looks loike shes been drugged up, she had a blue cape over her, her hair was long and black. She was so white, and when she spoke it was so soft and elegant. But not in a snobby way, she sounded airheaded and dumb. Her guards were basically doing everything for her. So she leaves before I can get approved and now me and this guy decided we need tom ake the best of it and because she seemed like a nice person maybe nothing will happen. We go back to our little hut, its so tiny there were literally like 8 people in the room with us. And it was a huge huge bunk bed i was on top. We were watching t.v and then...

I woke up, because it was so windy outside. :(

Jealousy

.........................................................................................................I am confused, do I like you or not...
Are we just friends, or will we become something more.

You talked of her once, you even said you tried to get her back...
But your always with me now.

Am I just a rebound?

As of now we are jsut friends, but I feel as if your expecting more...
But I am so confused...

What do you want? I can't tell.

I wish i could be like those girls...

I can tell your always nervous, you seem so unsure.

You say things to me though... Not normal people will aks me. Personal things you tell me, what do you mean by them? Do you want me to help you? Do you want me to understand you?

Or...

Is that just who you are?

I wish I could be like those girls who are outgoing...

I really do like you, the time we have spent together so far, everytime has been fun.

I wish I could be like those girls who are outgoing,pretty...

Everytime it has been just me and you. The last time we even smoked together, shared some funny stories, then really serious ones. Are we just starting a great friendship? I don't even know what I want..

I wish I could be like those girls who are outgoing,pretty,flirty...

Now today we chill again, this time your brother comes along. Your brother is the total opposite of you. He hints to me certain things, but I'm still not sure... He even told me every time at night your watching the movie I lent you...

I wish I could be like those girls who are outgoing,pretty,flirty,confident...

As of now, I don't know... Its like a game to me, but are you thinking the same thing as me? Oh well we have a good friendship as of now. And I like you as a friend... but I still wish I could be like all those other girls.

Angel and Demon Dialogue

All these were thoughts

Demon:"What a fucking Dick, I can't believe he would say that too me."
Angel:" But in a way I guess he's a little right."
Demon: "Fuck dat shit, he definetely was jsut trying to rid you somehow and was going to do it anyways but tried to do it in a nice way."
Angel:" Maybe I am just overthinking this..."
Demon: "Nahhh, He definetely was a prick and your not overthinking this, because you were nice and he took way advantage of you."
Angel:"But that's just my personality, I don't like to mean..."
Demon:"But he deserves for you to bitch him out."


Anyways, it never went along the lines of me cursing him out, it went more like this.....

Angel: "Maybe I should jsut let him know atleast that I'm here as a friend."

So I tell him that, no response.

Demon:"What a fucking douchebag!!! He can't even answer me that much. iI was jsut trying to be nice.
Angel:"Maybe he's just too busy, and I'm a hassle."

SO I met this new person, were friends and were talking about what happened. He asked me how old this kid was I told him twenty two. And my friend was like Oh shit, I would;ve totally beat him up for you, because coincientally they live around the block from eachother.

Angel:"Well that isn't nice to say, and a bit awkward."
Demon: "We should definetely go and beat the living crap outta him, I hate his guts.
Demon:"Even better, he has a black honda civic with black illegal tinted windows, and I know how important they are too him, I mean he loves those tints....Lets go scrape that shit off."

Nightmare

A nightmare I recently had was not too long ago. It was actually really cool. Anyways, when I had it it was when I worked in Halloween City. So before I tell it, the store I worked at was when you walk in the cash registers were next to the door, and walking towards the back were the fitting rooms. My job was very strange.... I mean very strange....We had three managers, one got fired so a new guy came in. he definetely was a creeper, because as soon as he came there apparently were peeping holes in the fitting rooms. And he would try and make us all, all the girls follow him to the storage room. Um... I found my way out of it, because my friend was there so I ran to him. But anyways,in my nightmare the seting was the store. I went to the fitting rooms in the back to talk to my friend, so were talking and what not, and then the creeper manager and my nice manager came to us and were fighting. Now i have no idea where this came from, but their was a wand next to me and my friend Pats head in my dream. And my two managers were like we need to duel!! So I was like "Oh, I know how to activate the wand." SO now there trying to make me activate this wand to duel, and so I did, but Pat was like "Yo, we gotta get outta here, their going to kill us too."
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So me and Patrick started running away, haha, and all of a sudden Patrick became someone else, who iI havent even talked to or seen and his name is Jason. Now me and Jason are running away while the two managers are shooting us, because apparently the wand was some special wand. And i took it. All of a sudden it becomes night, and me and Jason realized we got shot. We run across the street to Dunkin Donuts and the women working there lets us stay there and hide. Now I have no idea how this happened, but my managers aren't only managers of the store but managers of the whole city. So they run this town. To resolve this problem me and Jason go to some psychic place. Now it turns into someone I don't even know, Jason is some guy Ihave no idea who though. So me and this guy go to a crackhouse, I beleive because I dont know how a crackhouse looks. And its all gloomy, and there just people lying on the floor, and drugged up. So we got to this table, and the psychic isplaying poker. (Mind you, we have been shot). SO to talk to the psychic we have to play poker and win. Which we do, we ask the psychic are we going to live. He told us something, which i totally forgot. but I feel as if he must've said somwthing really important even to real life, and thats why I dont't remember. But in my dream I passed out. Which is weird right? In my dream I remeber seeing all black passing out. But anyways I woke up, and I'm in a white wedding dress, and the guy that I was with happened to love me and wanted to do everything he could to make me happy before I died. All I know is that in that part of my dream I was so happy, mind you I have no idea who this guy was and I mean we were going to die. But anyways, we walk out of this crackhouse thing its morning now, and the sun was setting and the crackhouse is high up in the air, like on a cliff by the docks. And we look down and its jsut water, so rather than sufferering we jumped off. When we hit the water, I woke up.

That day.

They were watching walker texas ranger dowstairs, she was nine and she was with her grandma. She always used to get a kick out of her grandma singing the theme song, she couldn't wait to say the same line after every time they heard the theme song, " Grandma! You sing it so well."

..............................They lived in a pink Brooklyn house, It was an apartment house, she would go there on the weekends because her mom and dad divorced when she was very young and her dad still lived their with his parents. Also the upstairs part of the house was an apartment to her cousins and aunt and uncle. Her cousins were younger then her, one was a boy and the other a girl. She was closer to the girl, she was six. They boy was four.

................................................................ She notices that the chandelier started shaking profusely and heard loud banging noises from upstairs.

...........The girl- "Grandma, what they doin' upstairs."
...........Grandma- "I don't know, uhhh stay downstairs, I'll be right back."

Now they say you should listen to your elders when spoken too, but she was curious to know what was going on upstairs. Also only a half hour before she was playing with her cousins, so she was still very active.

.........................................Her Grandma was up there for awhile ( 2 minutes), so she decided to go up to see what was going on.

She ran down the hallway and quickly up the stairs.
The vision she saw still burns through her eyes.....
.................................................................................................... Her uncle(blood uncle) drunkely was standing up over her aunt. He was pulling her hair back and beating the living shit outta her(she had pawned a ring he got her.) The thing was she didn't really care what wa soging on with them. It was her cousins faces that she was mostly disturbed at.

The four year old was in the corner of the room, his hands covering his ears and tears running down his face. The six year old was on the total opposite of the room, she was sitting with her knees to her chest and her face was so white.....

There was nothing for grandma to do... She just ran to her cousins and grabbed them and brought them dowstairs. That night they had a sleepover.


.........................What I think about the most is, while we were watching walker texas ranger, what had set that fight off. What were they doing the before the moment they got into an absusive fight? Like what was going on in the cousins mind. This never got old.

Vain Pain

Stinging fire bursts begin to burn through my eyes.
I feel the searing heat down my cheek, so quickly I wipe it away.

On the back of my hand I examine these small specks of water;they have so much meaning.
They begin to tingle with all their emotions, melting into my skin.

An aroma of steaming salt begins to linger-
A stained face with last night's fight.

Although the tears begin to disappear.
The dissolving water remains in vein....

The Horror, The horror

Creeping among her soul during the night
.................................................In bed cold fingers s
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Unknowingly she holds her covers tight.
Eearie images vivid in. her mind....

...................................................................................... Unconciously r e a c h i n g for a way out.

Scenarios his cloak follows her track.
Under blankets shes captured in his drought.
She wanders into a room filled with black.

...............................................................................Twisting with fear she sees this is a trap.
...............................................................................She turns real fast to escape this new fate.
...............................................................................Frightened from this she wakes up from her nap
...............................................................................To see this was the life she had create.

This nightmare seemed to her to be unreal.
but truly this was the fate that she had seal.

Pure Evil.

Pure evil lies in ignorance. I think ignorance is the key to evilness, if one isn't open minded and thinks only for themselves and the ones they love then that is ignorance and that is mainly the reason why there are problems in the world. Take for instance the Iraqi war, I was listening to my math teacher the other day she's like eighty something years old and she prays in the beginning of class. She said, " God bless our country and may our soldiers win and let the evilness that there doing there cease." I mean what makes the U.S any more right than the iraqis? I mean I'm not against our soldiers or anything, I look up to them. But truth of the matter is that the Iraqis are just as right as we are.. Aren't they? Don't they atleast have the right to fight for their lives against us? And it just pissed me off that my math teacher would say that because she tries to be all good and pray to the lord for that, but we shouldn't just pray for OUR COUNTRY, we should pray for EVERY SINGLE BEING ON THIS PLANET. .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

If you pray that is. I don't believe any set individual is wrong in the matter of war, unless they are killing for fun. I think every person has the right to atleast defend themselves, first off I just don' think there should be fighting to begin with. I mean no offense but is there any reason for anybody to be dying. I mean yes there is honor to die for your country, but I think it's sad that people our age are dying for this country when there is way more to live for. I would rather them come home and we all have to suffer the consequences together if there were no american soldiers there. Because honestly for those who say "well if we pull out now there going to bomb us", thats selfish. Because I would rather us all die together as a nation, then have innocent twenty year olds dying for us to live. In a way were all guilty then. And war and fighting all stem from ignorance.

A place where it hurts

I still recall that day.
............................................................A cold winter day January, and nothing else to do but to smoke a blunt.
........................or thats what we thought to do to keep us warm and entertained.
........Beach run....


.....................................................We drove for what seemed like years, giggling and laughing the whole entire time.
.............Not the brightest idea..
"Yo man, I think those are fucking aliens in the sky."

Me: "Um no those are just lights, your definetely buggin,HA HA..."

Me: " Why do you think we don't use the whole paper because it makes like no sense that we only write up to the margins, we waste all them trees, and this song sounds so good right now."


...........Its actually still quite funny to think about.

......................................"I think we should turn around an take this exit and make sure there not aliens."(my friends)

..........Me:"Whatever."(completely stoned)

............................................So they totally miss the exit and drive over the grass, just an inch, not even dangerously or anything.

Flashing red lights. FUCK.

............................................"Have you been drinking tonight?"

"No."

................................................................Cop: "Alright, well if I find nothing in this car, I'll let you guys go."

In my head:"Yes, were good."

..........................................................Cop: "Well it's like christmas morning!! Look at what I found here."
........................................Me(in my head): "Why the hell would anyone have so much drugs in one car!! this is so fucked up... I don't even do that shit, i just smoked a blunt is all.I don't even drink!! "

Well thats about the end of that story, I rather not go too deep into it. Court dates, I mean I was wrong, but I didn't know that all that was in the car. Never a car again.